Living without

If you think of it,
Your presence made no difference.
And then memories hit,
A lifetime of reverence.

Homecoming was awaited,
Rebirth still is.
Togetherness was celebrated,
But being together forever now isn’t bliss.

Nonchalant you were,
Appearance is not descriptive.
Wish we could adhere
To all things that now are primitive.

Never had to hide,
“Wonder and stay bewildered”.
I know I am safe & you are by my side,
“You must be bewitched”.

Solitude in the womb of a mystery,
A child so sweet.
It all looks history.
Can we try once more the wish n greet?

Wheelies and volleys,
I am so lost.
Hundred and one homilies,
Still full of frost.

The wind blows fast,
Boots are no more a fashion.
My destiny at last,
Found and felt not without compassion.

Pandemonium still lives,
It was almost defeated.
Distances, tides and now times,
Yet not separated.

Let the years rewind,
Encased.
Like the angel of the mind,
Unstirred.

Emptiness looks eternal,
Lunacy does not.
Relatively less betrayal,
Life we have still got.

I do not flake out,
Tired though I am.
The change is about,
And It’s breaking the dam.

Acting strong is needed,
It may not be wise.
The past is the only thing heeded,
Now it never feels nice.

Words become water,
Freezing all the while.
Wonder if I can alter,
Wonder if I can compile,
This thing people call life.

Each second leaves
The loathing increased.
Now life is
A little more grieved.

It was not a first,
Why did it turn out to be a last?
Your memories and dreams are mine,
Framed in my heart shaped cast.

If you think of it your presence did make a difference.
Memories hit all the time.
It’s a lifetime of repentance.
Hope you are fine.

Pandemonium still lives,
It was almost defeated.
Distances, tides and now times,
Yet not separated.

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10 thoughts on “Living without

    • Glad you liked it, Sanjee.
      Thank you.
      The confusion is in the perceptive you see this in, perhaps. For me every line, every word is crystal clear.
      Try reading it again. This time think of it as the longing of a girl for her dead lover. Her message to him to tell him how so much time has passed and life goes on but it can never be the same without him.

    • Thanks for taking out time to read this.
      This was written long, long back.
      Conveys a very strong emotion, Death.
      After which you’re only left with repentance, memories and grief. Alone.
      But life must go on. Thats the toughest part about losing somebody. You have to carry on without them. And I was trying to put that pain in words.

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